The LOST Primary Song Verses

Another couple of family folk contributions, this time of random new primary song lyrics for Nephi's Courage and Follow The Prophet. Note that my kids were all grown, and these are shared for that inner cut-up primary kid that’s left in most adults. DO NOT USE THESE IN PRIMARY.

Nephi's Extra Courage

[ My favorite Primary Song, with added punchlines. Don’t mess it up by teaching this at church. ]

The Lord commanded Zoram to quit his only job;

Nobody likes working for a drunken slob.

Nephi grabbed him and held him off his feet;

Wouldn't let him go until he would repeat:

[chorus] I will go..

The Lord commanded Lemuel to listen to his brother

But instead of Nephi, he listened to the other.

He thought Nephi was only full of talk.

When he learned the lesson, it came as quite a shock.

[chorus]

[ One more verse is still in progress. ]

Follow The Lesser-Known Prophets

[ Started as a way to help us remember details of random Old Testament stories. Studies suggest this might get updated every four years. Sung to the tune of Follow The Prophet]

Joshua showed Israel how to choose the Lord

they won every battle when they kept his word.

Sometimes the directions made them wonder why

'til the walls came down and the sun stayed in the sky.

Powerful Elijah heard the still small voice

Telling sinful Israel that they have a choice to

Set aside their idols, seek the better part

Came back in our day to turn our family's hearts

[ I wish this one were part of the official version. ]

Visions of Isaiah of Messiah's day

written to all Israel who had lost their way

prophesied God's people, scattered though they be,

finally are gathered very tenderly.

Then there's Jeremiah persecuted, he

when he said that Israel soon would not be free.

Babylon was coming, just his voice remained

but that was his call since he was foreordained.

[ Okay, here some license gets taken.. ]

Deborah the prophetess sat beneath some palms.

Got the whole ward council gathered up in arms.

Organized the brethren, they took her along.

Canaan they did raze and then they wrote a song.

[ Warning: biblical language. But funny. How else to deal with uncomfortable episodes? ]

Balaam was a prophet, just a bit perverse;

Moab's king had asked if Israel he would curse.

Saddled up his donkey but it wouldn't pass –

didn't see the angel 'til he beat his donkey.