This humorous old folk song was more likely to be heard around a campfire than in any meeting. Here is our family's edition of the lyrics, with the old verses as remembered by me from childhood, and with several new verses and groaners added by my kids and me for good measure. The melody was borrowed, roughly, from "The Blue Tail Fly."
Young folks, old folks, everybody come,
Join the Mormon Sunday School and have a lot of fun.
Pay your tithing, building fund, and budget at the door,
And you'll hear some scripture stories that you've never heard before.
The prophet Nephi was brave and strong,
In the scriptures he could do no wrong.
The way Arnold Frieberg painted him,
He must have worked out at Deseret Gym.
Enos was a hunter in the woods,
Who thought another trophy would look good.
He knelt down like his father said,
Brought a testimony home instead.
Old King Benjamin built himself a tower,
To preach to the folks for many an hour.
They pitched their tents so they could see,
And it looked like a Boy Scout Jamboree.
Abinadi's last days were spent
Telling the wicked to repent.
When his message to the king was through,
They invited him to a barbeque.
They had a little trouble with Alma, the younger,
For spiritual enlightenment he did hunger.
An angel appeared in glorious rays,
He felt really dumb for a couple of days.
Helaman the prophet led into fights
Two thousand stripling Lamanites.
The enemy made lots of noise,
But were beaten by those mama's boys.
The Gadianton robbers get all the thanks,
For robbing all the Nephite banks.
They robbed every bank over all creation,
Because they had the secret combination.
Captain Moroni led a big army
Defending lands and liberty.
When Nephite courage began to lag,
His clothes became the national flag.
The Jaredites left the tower of Babel.
They had two leaders who were strong and able.
Mahonri Moriancumer won great fame;
But I can't remember his brother's name.
Buy a Book of Mormon without delay;
Just four bits is all you'll pay.
I'll tell you what it will do:
If it reformed Egyptian, it will reform you!